Re: Funny ;)

zaher in the "PHP 6.0 discussion" wrote:

I think, we need php in client side (WebBrowser) like as JavaScript or VBScript, let us name it as PHPScript roll

I'm almost finished with an alpha release of this.

The PHPScript interpreter is written in JavaScript and imports the PHP source files via XMLHttpRequest/ActiveX-XMLHTTP (synchronously though).

There are four main steps:
1. The Main file loads and calls phpScript.js.
2. phpScript.js instantiates an interpreter object and fetches the PHPScript file (.phps).
3. From here, the interpreter processes the script (rendering the markup in one pass).
4. Finally, the output is sent to the DOM via the BODY tag's innerHTML property (doing this with W3C DOM methods is just too much to deal with).

As of now, I only have about 15% of PHP 4's functions implemented?at least that's a start. I don't think PHPScript will have decent database support any time soon though (sorry about that).

It's important to note that "viewing source" will not show the rendered output or your source files since the elements are written to the DOM via JavaScript. But you can't rely on this to protect your source files; the unprocessed scripts are sent to the client before the PHPScript interpreter processes it.

Remember: PHPScript is client-side scripting. The unprocessed scripts are stored in the user's browser cache. So simply looking in the cache folder reveals your source code. So be careful what you put in there.

Latest Open Source project: [img=Templar PHP]http://code.google.com/p/templarphp/logo?logo_id=1251758459[/img]

TemplarPHP - A cascading template framework for PHP.

Re: Funny ;)

You've implemented a PHP script interpreter in Javascript? Amazing! But why? smile

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

Re: Funny ;)

Rickard wrote:

You've implemented a PHP script interpreter in Javascript? Amazing! But why? smile

I know your question is rhetorical since you, of all people in this forum, know why the computing industry desperately needs client-side PHPScript. But I'll spell it out for others who may not see the answer so clearly:

PHPScript:
...results in code that is far cleaner and easier to read than code written in other languages.
...lets us take advantage PHP's elegant function conventions.
...prevents code that relies on reference pointers (which are simply a crutch for weak programmers).
...leverages PHP's superior object model in the client-side world (nothing in client-side use today can even begin to match it).

Client-side PHPScript is guaranteed to transform the world of computing. It's a new technology that will revitalize the IT industry.

Put simply, PHPScript is a radically new concept that breaks away from the old paradigm of stagnant, flawed and less capable browser scripting technologies that we suffer with now. Today's scripting technologies (VBScript, JavaScript, HyperCardScript, JythonScript, AppleLinkScript, RubyScript, VMS/DCLScript, FireFox's buggy Tcl/TkScript and JavaScript's dreaded offspring JavaScriptScript) are too limited and obviously the wrong tools for any type of client-side job. Period.

Latest Open Source project: [img=Templar PHP]http://code.google.com/p/templarphp/logo?logo_id=1251758459[/img]

TemplarPHP - A cascading template framework for PHP.

Re: Funny ;)

What's tragedy?

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he dropped in on one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".

So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy".

"No said Bush, " that would be an accident".

A little girl raised her hand: "if a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy".

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "that's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the room.

"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a "tragedy"?

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy".

"Fantastic!" cried Bush. "That's right! And can you you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f....king accident either".

55

Re: Funny ;)

snapsolutions wrote:

What's tragedy?

smile

Re: Funny ;)

I am not going to comment. Just click here smile

57

Re: Funny ;)

going back to the joke. I think I might have encountered a similar client back when I use to do that kind of job.

Re: Funny ;)

Hurricane Survival Kit:

Toilet paper......................................check

Bud Light..........................................check

Keystone Ice.....................................check

Budweiser........................................check

Red Dog............................................check

Misc. alcohol.....................................check

Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on...check

Next time, let's all be more prepared


http://tinypic.com/fabuj9.jpg

Re: Funny ;)

http://tinypic.com/ff34ht.jpg

60 (edited by Apupv 2005-11-09 10:11)

Re: Funny ;)

Obviously, a lot of you know this thing, but for the one who don't :

Go to Google
enter "Failure"
Click "I'm Feeling Lucky"
...

Re: Funny ;)

[ignore this]Graaaagh! Apupv, you eated my brains ! but twice was too many times for you tongue[/ignore this]

.._ -Pandark- _..
Serial Dreamer

62 (edited by snapsolutions 2005-11-15 04:05)

Re: Funny ;)

AirBags smile

http://tinypic.com/folog5.jpg

63 (edited by Apupv 2005-11-15 04:18)

Re: Funny ;)

This CAN'T be true !! neutral

Re: Funny ;)

check this out

http://www.nicefunnyjokes.com/images/visual-jokes/mentalities/buy-a-pair-of-pants-cefjhjkodfgkiklp.jpg

more funny pictures http://www.nicefunnyjokes.com/visual-jo … lities.htm

65 (edited by ShawnBrown 2006-04-01 09:31)

Re: Funny ;)

Decentralize! - Co-create! - Remix! - Put the 2 in Web 2.0!

Q: Foundation Attributes + Experience Attributes = ?
A: A valuable new service with a fast-growth business model!!

Sadly, this Adaptive Path article doesn't appear to be joking: Buzzword Burnout

Credit: Saw this at http://37signals.com/svn/archives2/heck … e_path.php.

Latest Open Source project: [img=Templar PHP]http://code.google.com/p/templarphp/logo?logo_id=1251758459[/img]

TemplarPHP - A cascading template framework for PHP.

Re: Funny ;)

ShawnBrown: Please, make it stop!

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

Re: Funny ;)

System Administrator Song big_smile

68

Re: Funny ;)

all those things are hilarious

http://files.upl.silentwhisper.net/upload4/417e791b6d430.jpg
http://files.upl.silentwhisper.net/upload4/417ef7f4e3c70.jpg
http://files.upl.silentwhisper.net/upload4/417f75bd1de00.jpg
http://files.upl.silentwhisper.net/upload4/gdubs.jpg
http://files.upl.silentwhisper.net/upload4/I_surrender.bmp

Re: Funny ;)

Beware of this scam

Here is their scam:

Two good looking 18 year old girls with wet T-shirts approach while
you're still in the car.

One starts wiping your windshield with a Squeegee, the other comes to
your window saying `Hi' while bending over with her breasts almost
coming out of her shirt, impossible not to look.

When you offer a few dollars for the window-clean they say no and
ask for a ride to another Shopping Center. You agree and they sit in
the back.

On the way they start having sex in the back seat.
Then one of them jumps to the front seat & starts to perform oral
sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I was robbed last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday & Friday, but I
couldn't find them Saturday or Sunday.

Be careful.

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

Re: Funny ;)

lol big_smile

71 (edited by Reines 2006-02-02 22:15)

Re: Funny ;)

http://syi.cc/misc/junk/404.jpg
http://syi.cc/misc/junk/SkyNewsBush.jpg
http://syi.cc/misc/junk/bill_gates_testimony.jpg
http://syi.cc/misc/junk/cat.jpg
http://syi.cc/misc/junk/geek.jpg
http://syi.cc/misc/junk/life_tag.jpg

Re: Funny ;)

A newspaper advert for a Swedish company called Locum.

http://locum.istheshit.net/images/tjpdrfuc.jpg

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."

Re: Funny ;)

I like this one smile

Sweden VS Britain

Download here (pps file)

Re: Funny ;)

Texas style arrest! smile

Re: Funny ;)

snapsolutions wrote:

I like this one smile

Sweden VS Britain

Download here (pps file)

hahaha

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."